You Won't Believe This, at Heart and Home

Hello everyone, I realize it's been a long time...

I will admit,

since my Dad passed away in September

working on Heart and Home had become

difficult for me.

I felt like I had run out of things to write about,

and lost interest in  DIY projects.

I was down in the dumps,

depressed and uninspired. 

After my trip to Austria and Hungary things started looking up.

I was feeling a little better,

ready to start working on projects again,

ready to begin fresh with new ideas.

I was getting excited to plunge in, and pull out the spray paint!

BUT NO...

INSTEAD,

I'm still processing what happened to us near the end of March.

Daily, I remind myself

to stop and count my lucky stars.

Because, it really could have been much worse.

.

 STILL...

This has been really difficult.

We are all shook up.

And sometimes, we are still in disbelief.

During a particularly nasty rain storm,

while I was in the kitchen

 preparing my first cup of tea

(you know how I love my tea!)

determined to do nothing on that stormy day but

nurse my very sore back

and read

and relax,

and take it very easy all day,

suddenly out of nowhere

I heard a very loud crash of thunder.

Which was weird,

because we don't get thunder around here.

So, I was a bit puzzled.

Turns out, the sound I heard was the sound of

one of the trees on our property,

a 100' tall,

 5' diameter, giant Douglas fir, 

as it came crashing down into our house,

just missing me by a few teeny, tiny feet.

This is what happened to our home:

The entire thing was split in two.

Right down the middle,

all the way from end to end.

 Our outdoor patio,

which we used for entertaining and dining,

and reading and relaxing,

no longer exists.

It was smashed to smithereens.

Almost everything on it was smashed flat.

Demolished.

The living room, dining room, entry, hall,
guest bath, family room, office, stairs

 and the entire downstairs

where our bedrooms, sewing room and bathrooms are located

(including my "favorite spot")

were either structurally destroyed,

 or severely water damaged.

 This is a view from the side door,

looking back through the hall into the entry.

The wood planks used to be part of our cathedral ceiling.

That is the roof on the floor of my dining room.

Almost every piece of furniture,

and a great number of our books,

and the pretty decorative items,

 and many of my favorite things

including Mr. and Mrs. Chin,

were destroyed.

Projects I had worked hard on over the years,

many that I shared with you here,
(including my favorite bookcase, and the slipcovered chair)

are gone now,

thrown away in a big dumpster.

Within minutes after the tree fell,

Local firefighters and officers from the sheriff's department 

were on the scene.

They are amazing heroes,

and quickly rescued a very frightened Maggie,

who had been hiding beneath some furniture.

There was a very joyful reunion between the two of us.

The firefighters rescued all my photo albums,

and many of our cherished framed photographs,
 and the important files.
All without me uttering a word to them,
or even knowing what they were doing.
They found my purse, and my keys,

and they knew just the right things to say to me.

 Brave, calm, and kind,

they worked in the dark, in the pouring rain

to save what they could.

I will be forever grateful to them.

Immediately, three media vans descended onto our property.

Reporters and photographers

prowled the grounds,

looking for the best angle,

peering in the windows,

and interviewing the neighbors,

while I sat at the house next door,

shaking and in shocked disbelief.

The destruction of our home was big news that night, and the next day.

Photographs were in the newspaper again, just last week.

When this happened, my husband was out of town, on a business trip.

He Googled "downed tree house storm"

 and, not even ten minutes after I called him,

he saw the pictures of our mangled house on his I-pad,

on his way to the airport in Budapest.

After a few days, the weather changed dramatically,

and we began the long process of accessing the damage,

determining the losses,

and getting ready to rebuild.

Things are moving very slowly.

The tree is gone, and so are two others that scared us.

A giant tarp on a temporary frame

protects the interior from further water damage.

There is a lot of paper work to complete.

It's a lot to take in, and at times hard to comprehend.

We are thinking this through carefully,

and, after living almost a month in a hotel
we are getting settled temporarily,

into a rented house that is not our home.

But it will become one to us in time.

The Cecil Brunner roses on the front arbor

 were just starting to bloom when this happened.

They will bloom again next year around this time,

when we move back into our rebuilt house.

In the meantime,
I'm thankful to still be here,
to have celebrated another birthday with my family,
to have been given the chance to live my life the best that I can,
and to be able to see the beauty amidst the destruction,
in what was once our home,
 and will be again.

Thank you for stopping by today,
I appreciate your visit!!
I will keep you updated on any new developments.
I hope you will check back in with me now and then.
Until next time,
XO
Heidi

linked to Susan's A Southern Daydreamer, for Outdoor Wednesday,
and at the Wednesday party at A Beach Cottage. Thanks!

Inspiration and Creativity, at Heart and Home

I met Susan Liddy at the SITS seminar in San Francisco. She impressed me with her  warmth, her elegance and her professionalism.  I was thrilled when, a few days later, she asked me to write a guest post for her site Aspire Life Coaching.

Susan suggested I write about inspiration and the creative process, something I have been familiar with, and struggling with, and in awe of my entire life.

 It took some time for me to figure out where my inspiration comes from and what inspires me to get going and get creative.

But, I did it!

I'd be so honored if you'd pop over to Susan's blog and read my guest post.
Let me know what you think about it. You can leave a comment there, or come back here.
Either way, I'd love it if you'd share your thoughts, and I'd be very interested to know what inspires you.

And, for something completely different, take a look at some quick fall decor, and Wednesday Gratitude #31, by clicking here.

Until next time,
XO
Heidi

For more information about Susan Liddy, check her out at:
http://www.aspirelifecoaching.org/
http://www.secretstoultimateliving.com/
http://www.aspiringfempreneur.com/

Her Book: www.secretstoultimateliving.com/ebook

Wednesday Gratitude #28: Time at Heart and Home

Hi All!

TIME for Wednesday Gratitude

Link up if you've got something to be grateful for!

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?"

-William A. Ward

I have a funny relationship with time, and

I've been watching the clock a lot lately.

I'm very grateful for the abundance of time I have to take care of things.

But, with hours stretching out in front of me every day,

 it seems I take more and more time getting started on the things that are "important".

It makes me feel guilty,

and then, it feels like I'm playing catch-up with the clock.

I imagine time takes on a completely different meaning

when you've been faced with life-altering challenges,

like illness or loss, or some sort of natural disaster.

I imagine you would never take time for granted

having beaten cancer,

or survived a flood or hurricane that took everything away from you.

That time would have stood still while you were in the midst of the storm,

and flown by much too quickly while you were battling a disease.

Counting the days knowing you could never get them back.

I'm grateful I've never really had to experience anything like that,

and that I don't know what time feels like in those circumstances.

I'm truly grateful.

Although I've lent my support for most beloved ones who've been there, done that.

And those times were precious to me, though slow, and hard, and long.

I wouldn't trade those days for any others.

Because they showed me what I was made of,

and showed me what it takes to really fight the big fight,

and that time keeps rolling along, day after day. 

Spending days like that helped me realize how precious time is,

and how much I regret wasting it.

AND, being late, and making others wait, is a form of wasting time,

in my opinion.

I often find myself scrambling around at the last minute,

taking care of that "one last thing" to do before I head out the door

Do you do that too?

Why do I think that right before I need to leave

is the perfect time to add the last load of laundry to the wash?

Why do I always see the little out-of-place-items that need putting back in their places,

right when I'm running out the door?

Or notice some inane task that could have been done any time,

and feel the need to complete it just before I head out?

I do that more often than I'd like to admit.

And then, I'm usually just a bit late getting to where I was heading.

Sorry about that.

Is it just me, or is this some sort of "last-minute mania" that only affects people who have a guilty conscience about how they spend their time?

I don't know.

Here's the guilt:

There are so many things I should be doing with my time.

I have a list a mile long.

I just haven't been all that inspired to get started on those things.

I've been thinking, maybe I need a new list!

My new list could contain only things that I really love to do.

What would be on your list,

if you had all the time in the world?

What are the things you would want to do, if there were no restrictions?

I would really like to know!

I think that's the trick to making peace with how we spend our time.

Less guilt, more accomplishments.

Spend it in the pursuit of happiness.

Spend it being happy.

And then, PAY ATTENTION.

Because:

I've heard time flies when you're having fun.

Until next time,

xo

Heidi

                        

I'm linking to:

Welcome Wed.

Wobble over Wed.

Follow Me Wed.

Strawberries and Tea-Time at Heart and Home

Strawberries and Tea-Time

I have a lot more spare time available to me now that everyone is back in school.
It's a perfect opportunity to sit back with a friend and enjoy a cup of tea.

I've never been one of those people with gobs and gobs of girlfriends.
I've made only a few very special friends over the years.
I call it my "Circle of A-Listers".

Maybe I'm picky, or hard to please.
I know I'm reluctant to fill my life with idle chit-chat and less than meaningful conversations.
I'm not very good at small talk.
Actually, I really dislike it.
Being well versed in it is something that could probably come in useful to me every now and then.
I suppose there's an art to conducting small-talk really well.
And I'm learning to do it better, for when the need arises.

But, I like to spend my time with people who really matter to me, who know me, and allow me to get to know them.
I like us to talk about things that matter to both of us.
Doled out equally with things that make us laugh.

Over the years I've been lucky to form friendships with a small group of truly wonderful women with whom I share similar thoughts, taste and ideas.
Then there are the others, the women who are nothing at all like me.
I think I love them even more because of it!

All of these are women with big hearts, wisdom beyond their years, immense kindness, and the ability to offer support when it's needed, or a shoulder to cry on.
They are good for fun too, and enjoy an adventure every now and then.

These are true-blue friends, and it's not everyday that you find someone who will stick with you through thick and thin.

I cherish the people in my life with whom I can be honest, and share my heart-felt thoughts.

Even when those thoughts might not make a lot of sense, or are less than cheery.

I know my friends always try their best to understand me, and support me, and perhaps even point out the obvious to me, when I might have missed it.

I feel blessed to be able to express my greatest happiness and my deepest sadness with them.

I can just be myself with them, and I don't have to take out my "company manners" for our visits.

Even though I like to do just that, to make them feel special.

I''d love to be able to sit down for a visit with all the friends I've made over the years.
Wouldn't that be an interesting group?
I would want to include my youngest childhood buddies, and friends from high school with whom I've lost touch.
People who've come and gone in my life, and were special to me way back when.
New friends, who've just recently come into my life.
And all the dear friends I've been lucky to have known for a very long time.

Strawberries warm from the garden, and a fresh pot of tea await us.
We could sit together and linger in the afternoon hours that, for now, are mostly empty of demands.

For awhile, we could relax and share stories of how we spent our summers, and share the hopes and dreams of our lives for the coming fall.

Who would you invite to sit with you, if you could invite anyone from your past?

There is just the right amount of time for a heart-to-heart talk, without feeling rushed by the clock.

The school day has just begun and the afternoon is stretching out before us, open with possibilities...

Today is a gift, to be shared with a good friend, or two or three.

Good friends, good talk,  strawberries, and a pot of tea.

Until next time

XO

Heidi

Linking to: Blue Monday, Making Mondays Marvelous

Tabletop Tuesday , Three or More Tuesday

and these fun Tea Parties at:

Lady Katherine Tea Parlor

The Plumed Pen

Silken Purse

A Day With the SITS Girls, at Heart and Home

Saturday I spent the day in San Francisco,

at the Westin St.Francis Hotel. 

 I was with 100 other blogging women.

We were all in town for the SITS Girls Bloggy Boot Camp.

I didn't get many pictures of the 100 other women,

or the speakers, or the food.

There were too many things to do, and too many people to talk to.

I got a little nervous, and I forgot.

I know you'll forgive me.

From the conference room when the fog cleared,

 there was a view down to Union Square.

Typical of San Francisco summer weather, the fog cleared around 4:00.

Just in time to see the festival wind down and the crowds disburse. 

The building with the arched windows on the right is the Marriott Hotel.

That domed tower in the center is very pretty.

Too bad I don't know what it's called.

I'll have to get back to you on that. 

The meeting took place way up high, on the Imperial floor, in fancy Victor's.

Not on the ceiling, but isn't it interesting?

Inside, the view was clear, but the temperature was chilly.

Frigid actually.

You would think they could afford to heat the place,

 considering what they charge to stay here!

We were all shivering by the time the meeting was over.

A frosty and very wide awake bunch.

Here are a few of us, hoping to warm up,

 and getting ready to eat lunch in in the beautiful Alexandra room.

It was freezing in here too, but lovely,

and there are fabulous 360 degree views of the entire city

when there is no fog.

And when the frost clears off the inside of the windows I imagine.

Is it just me, or do you think it's weird to put the food on the tables

 before everyone is seated?

I'm just curious.

 But I've got to admit our lunch was tasty!

Dessert was very delicious, too!

That got eaten before I remembered to document it,

you just have to trust me.

Getting ready to go again,

we're taking our places for the second half of the meeting.

We listened to some interesting talks about all sorts of topics,

from blog security, to ideas about monetizing our sites.

Tiffany Romero, co founder of SITS Girls,

who is very pretty, BTW,

and Ted Rubin of Open Sky, gave us some info.

I particularly enjoyed Kristy Campbell's writing tips.

She was a sweetie to talk with, too.

And has such beautiful red hair.

I've always wondered how I'd look as a redhead.

Hmmm. That's something to think about.

I wonder if I could pull it off.

I think I have the temperament for it, for sure.

That could become one of my changes, for the future.

After the event, I went into the lobby and rested my tired self on the sofa.

Actually, I leaned w a a a y back and got my feet up a bit!

It felt so good!

That's when I noticed how ornate the ceiling is in there.

All these years I've been running inside the hotel
to use the very nice ladies' lounge

or ride the glass elevator to check out the the view,
and I don't think I've ever really looked up.

Anyway, I got very comfy, had a nice chat with some out of town visitors,

and enjoyed some good people-watching.

There was a big party happening in the bar.

Some people really should not wear strapless dresses.

Or 5" heels.

That's all I'm saying about that.

It was a day well spent.

The things I learned helped me clarify my thoughts and feelings

 about Heart and Home.

I feel more confident about some of my decisions now.

AND:

I met some nice women, and shared blogging tips and stories with them.

Even spent a little time in the lounge with a couple of Michelles.

Bright, young, beautiful women

who are just starting out in the world of blogging.

And I learned a few things about attending a blogging conference.

Like, bring business cards. (Who knew?)

And wear a winter coat.

At least I felt stylish in my comfortable new "Penelope"* shoes. 

Until next time,

XO

Heidi

*If you haven't already, check out the movie. Then you'll know what I'm talking about.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes at Heart and Home

It's been one week.

With no inspiration, and even less motivation

I've been doing a lot of nothing these past seven days.

Nothing and everything, because I think I've gotten closer to finding some truths for myself.

Most of you told me that the most important thing to do with life getting me down was to just be in the moment, and to allow myself to really feel the feelings that came up.

So, that's what I've been doing these past seven days:

being in the moment,

and feeling.

Well, trying to feel, anyway.

 I've been confused about what exactly my feelings were. Or are.

And being in the moment has never been one of my strong points.

But, I think I've gotten closer to some answers.

That's a good thing, right?

I read "Eat, Pray Love".

I saw the movie.

It took Julia Roberts ( Elizabeth Gilbert, actually)

 an entire year to figure it out.

I think I'm doing pretty well,

having spent only one week working on the same thing.

Without leaving the country, or abandoning my family and friends.

Without taking a 15-years-younger lover, or joining an ashram,

or having a nervous breakdown.

I've kept things running pretty smoothly around here, considering,

and still found some time to think.

I've decided that things will get better, but,

 despite all the uncontrollable changes in my life,

there are even more things that need to change.

  I need to change, that I will seek and embrace change.

Even though I (mostly) fear it. 

 

We all know that nothing stays the same.

Well, everything seems to be changing around here.

With our eldest leaving home, and the youngest starting high school,

I'm pretty much working myself out of a job,

and staring at an empty nest in just a few years.

It's freaking me out.

Plus there's the whole aging process to deal with.

Don't get me started on that one.

And of course, some other things, big ones that are difficult and emotion packed.

But, now I'm writing a list.

On it are the things in my life that need to change,

 and things about me that I need to change. 

Things that I can control.

 Changes that I will seek and embrace.

Blah, blah, blah.

This is not easy for me.

I'm going to start by losing those extra 15 pounds

 that have literally been weighing me down for the past years.

I think I need to feel and be lighter,

to feel more like my old self, in order to find my new self. 

To get back into fighting shape, so to speak.

So I can tackle the next item on my list, and on down.

Change, change, change.

I so appreciate your support,  and all your kind words.

Thank you so much for sharing your own moments

 of doubt and difficulty, and enlightenment with me.

 Thank you for your encouragement.

Thank you for being you!

.

I'm pretty sure, after I get through the next week,

inspiration and motivation will be right around the corner.

Stay tuned!

Until next time,

XO

Heidi

LIstening to My Heart, at Heart and Home

I know it's been awhile since I've shared anything new with you. And it will probably be awhile longer.
Because:

Sometimes, when life gives you lemons it's really hard to make lemonade, like everyone says you should.

 I feel like I've been given my share of lemons lately, and trying hard to make the lemonade, but with very little success.

Sometimes, instead of changing my perspective, and seeing the bright side, and letting go of expectations, and turning the other cheek, and living and letting live, and the myriad ways of behaving  like a grown-up and living with grace when it feels like life is smacking me in the face, I'm overcome with the childish and very strong desires to stomp feet and act horribly and be generally witchy and nasty and unlovable.

Or to cry and run away and be alone.

I really hate it when the nasty, horrible side of me wins and slams the door and sticks her head under a blanket and tries to hide, while the grown-up side of me is nowhere to be found.

That usually happens when I feel myself slipping under the weight of TOO MUCH, too much of everything, but mostly too much of the hard stuff hitting home all at once, like what's been going on around here.

At those times, I am weak, and foolish, and a big baby. Behaving like a grown-up feels beyond my capability.

At those times, I usually don't know what hit me until it's too late. Usually I can't see beyond the hurt or disappointment, or the fear, or the feelings of betrayal
.
It takes some time, but then there is always regret, and finally a longing for peace and understanding, and quiet and calm.

That's where I'm at right now, trying to find the calm.

I need to quiet my brain and listen to the wisdom of my heart a little.

Or is it the other way around? I don't  know.


Do I need to stop feeling so much, and start letting my brain get involved more often? I can't imagine anyone advising me to think less, and feel more.

I'm one of those people who've always believed that things only got sweeter when the heart was involved.


I don't know if  I've got that part right. I carry my heart out in the open, and don't trust my brain as much, although I know I'm intelligent. It just feels more right to go with my feelings than my intellect, most of the time. Which may be the problem.

I  need to find a good middle ground. Something that feels right for me. Oops, there I go again with the feelings.

I'm getting better at this, really I am. But, obviously, I still have a lot of work to do. You'd think I'd have it figured out by now. At least, I thought I would. I'm in my 50's, for heaven's sake. How long does this take, anyway?

Please don't misunderstand me. Right now, everything in my life is not a big dramatic crazy-fest.  But I'm feeling the pressure enough that I need some time to digest it all, and to get used to some things and figure them out.


Then, the next time life hits me with a big bag of lemons (and I know there is always a next time) I want to  find the part of me that knows how to be honest and true without letting myself down, and without feeling the need to hide. And to be able to make the lemonade, no problem.

Until next time,
XO
Heidi

Rocky Road Tart,Thank You and Wednesday Gratitude #24 at Heart and Home

Hello! Welcome to Heart and Home

It's Wednesday Gratitude, and a special day!

Link in below, and remember to mention Heart and Home in your post, please!

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,

 "thank you," that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

Today is Heart and Home's

 one year Blog Anniversary.

Yep, that's right.

One year ago today, with trembling fingers, I clicked on "publish post",

and started a new adventure.

I had no idea where my rambling and often feeble attempts

 at documenting my home and life would lead me.

But, here I am, and here you are!

And, since I knew you were coming, I baked you a cake!

Eggs, cream and dark bittersweet chocolate combine to make a rich and creamy ganache.

Melted butter, sugar and graham crackers make a delicious crust.

The ganache is poured over chopped nuts and mini-marshmallows.

Chilled for an hour in the refrigerator,

 more nuts and marshmallows and ganache are added to the top.

After an hour or so, the rock-road torte is ready to eat.

You will love it!

You will be thankful for chocolate, and nuts, and cream and graham cracker crust!

And, I am so thankful for you!

 When I began, I had no idea Heart and Home would become such an important part of my life. I didn't know I would come into contact with so many kind, supportive, funny, friendly, talented and inspiring people. I had no idea you were all out there,

and that you would welcome me with open arms!

Someone who doesn't blog may think it is a strange way to spend time. I used to think so, too. But, I didn't understand the connections and bonds that can form across the internet, when ideas, thoughts and feelings are shared with like-minded people, day in and day out. Blogging has allowed me to visit with you around the world, it's given me a creative push, and I am very thankful you've been so receptive to me.  I love hearing from you and I read every comment and e-mail - I love knowing what's on your minds, so keep those comments coming!

I'm truly grateful!

I'm looking forward to the year ahead,

and excited to see where Heart and Home will lead me.

There are still a few more days to enter the drawing for the giveaway!

I'll chose a random winner on July 31.

Winner receives a $40 gift certificate to Lisa Leonard  Designs,

vintage linens,

a necklace from my collection,

and some other lovely lovelies, especially for you!

Become a follower,

leave a comment,

refer a friend!

You can only win if you enter!

Until next time,

XO

Heidi

                        

                        

ROCKY ROAD TART

(from Martha Stewart, with simplifications and revisions by Heart and Home)

For the crust:

6 ounces graham crackers (about 11)

1 tblsp. sugar

1/8 tsp salt

5 tblsp. butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Process graham crackers, sugar and salt in a food processor (or put crackers in plastic bag and crush with rolling pin, and combine with salt and sugar). Transfer to medium bowl, stir in melted butter, mix until combined.

Press crumbs into bottom and up sides of 9" springform pan. Bake until crust just starts to turn golden brown, about 15 minutes. Let cool completely on wire rack.

For the Ganache:

15 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped (or use good quality choc. chips)

1 3/4 cups heavy cream

2 large egg yolks, lightly beaten

2 cups mini-marshmallows

1 cup nuts, chopped

Melt 10 ounces of the chocolate in a large bowl set over a pan or bowl of simmering water, keep warm. Bring cream to simmer, remove from heat. Whisk 1/4 cup hot cream into beaten egg yolks, then whisk this mixture into remaining cream. Whisk cream mixture into melted chocolate, set aside.
Toss 2 cups mini-marshmallows with 1 cup chopped nuts. Scatter mixture over bottom of cooled crust, pour all but 1 cup ganache over nuts and marshmallows. Refrigerate tart, uncovered, until firm (about one hour).
Cover reserved 1 cup ganache with plastic wrap until ready to finish tart.

For the topping:

3/4 cup mini-marshmallows

1/4 cup chopped nuts

2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped

Toss together marshmallows, chopped nuts and chopped chocolate, sprinkle over chilled tart. Drizzle reserved 1 cup ganache over tart, and refrigerate 10 minutes more before cutting.

Tart can be refrigerated, covered, for up to three days.

Linking to Linky Party at Tea Rose Home, Works for Me Wed. at We are that Family, Whatever Goes at Someday Crafts, Spotlight Yourself at It's So Very Cheri. Thank you!