Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes at Heart and Home

It's been one week.

With no inspiration, and even less motivation

I've been doing a lot of nothing these past seven days.

Nothing and everything, because I think I've gotten closer to finding some truths for myself.

Most of you told me that the most important thing to do with life getting me down was to just be in the moment, and to allow myself to really feel the feelings that came up.

So, that's what I've been doing these past seven days:

being in the moment,

and feeling.

Well, trying to feel, anyway.

 I've been confused about what exactly my feelings were. Or are.

And being in the moment has never been one of my strong points.

But, I think I've gotten closer to some answers.

That's a good thing, right?

I read "Eat, Pray Love".

I saw the movie.

It took Julia Roberts ( Elizabeth Gilbert, actually)

 an entire year to figure it out.

I think I'm doing pretty well,

having spent only one week working on the same thing.

Without leaving the country, or abandoning my family and friends.

Without taking a 15-years-younger lover, or joining an ashram,

or having a nervous breakdown.

I've kept things running pretty smoothly around here, considering,

and still found some time to think.

I've decided that things will get better, but,

 despite all the uncontrollable changes in my life,

there are even more things that need to change.

  I need to change, that I will seek and embrace change.

Even though I (mostly) fear it. 

 

We all know that nothing stays the same.

Well, everything seems to be changing around here.

With our eldest leaving home, and the youngest starting high school,

I'm pretty much working myself out of a job,

and staring at an empty nest in just a few years.

It's freaking me out.

Plus there's the whole aging process to deal with.

Don't get me started on that one.

And of course, some other things, big ones that are difficult and emotion packed.

But, now I'm writing a list.

On it are the things in my life that need to change,

 and things about me that I need to change. 

Things that I can control.

 Changes that I will seek and embrace.

Blah, blah, blah.

This is not easy for me.

I'm going to start by losing those extra 15 pounds

 that have literally been weighing me down for the past years.

I think I need to feel and be lighter,

to feel more like my old self, in order to find my new self. 

To get back into fighting shape, so to speak.

So I can tackle the next item on my list, and on down.

Change, change, change.

I so appreciate your support,  and all your kind words.

Thank you so much for sharing your own moments

 of doubt and difficulty, and enlightenment with me.

 Thank you for your encouragement.

Thank you for being you!

.

I'm pretty sure, after I get through the next week,

inspiration and motivation will be right around the corner.

Stay tuned!

Until next time,

XO

Heidi